mintea care fuge...

hai can n-am mai blogat demult....

ce sa mai zic...

am pus toate cartile mele postale pe peretii de burete de la biroul meu la servici (si o mica sectie romana!) ca sa pot sa-m schimb si eu ideile..sa ma uit la altceva nu numai la ecranul de ordinator

si am inceput sa citesc in romana! de ani de zile n-am mai citit! finca citesc cam lent, cam greu... dar nui nimic! am ramas cu gramatica de nivel de clasa 2 de naiba! am noroc ca am ascultat placile de povesti care le aveam (si le ascult si azi). deci cat de cat am vocabularul un pic mai dezvoltat!

deci citesc : De-a baba-oarba (Jocurile detectivului Conan) de Vlad Musatescu

ai mei au o biblioteca plina cu lcasici romanesti, trebuie sa pun mana sa-m mai refac cultura generala romana..am cam pierduto citind numai engleza si franceza.

dupe 1 an de casatorie totul este bine... deocamdata haha ..dar ma bucur ca ne intelegem bine.

ne-am jurat, asa, fata-n-fata, ca daca avem o problema, sa o relglam imediat. sa comunicam, sa nu scufundam problemele in undul oceanului car este sufletul...

am mei au ost in Romanica si tare mie dor de tara. e sun o straina acolo din pacate... intru-n grup de romani ma simt tare singura... tare as vrea sa intind mana cuiva, sa zicem "ce faci bre!" , sa fim solidari dar din pacate nu este posibil..romani de aici nu sunt de treaba.

n-am ce sa discut cu lumea din romania, nu prea sutn lacurent cu politica etc chair daca ascult radio bucuresti sau radio metronom... tot nu stau acolo, tot nu stiu "les enjeux"...

doamne! anul viitor se implinesc 20 ani de cand sunt aici! 20!!!!!!!!

visul meu cel ma tare ar fii sa am o casuta la tara... sa am vacuta si aine...sa fac branza, sa vand oua, sa cresc legume in gradina... mam saturat de viata asta de oras... dar poate daca as fii crescut la tara, ar fi fost altceva...

in fine..

letting some steam out and ill just say this:

the veil on your eyes, the veil of ignorance is worse than the veil u wear on ur head in a sign of respect.

i cant deal with the fact that some oh-so-christian,oh-so-faithfull christian women can be racist!
sorry but to sum it up, the bible says love they neighbour?? even if hes gay,..even if hes black...u seem to forget that passage. u take everything to the letters, u fast, u pray and u cover ur head...yet ur a biggoted hater!
ugh.
shame.

shock and awe

im still in shock. i shouldnt have watched it but i did.

i saw lapidation (stoning) video. i assume the poor woman must have been accused of cimmiting aduletery or soem otehr activity. im not sure of the country.
while she was beign kicked in the head and on the body by sandaled-feet, she was stoned form every part i saw cell phoen cameras filming!!!! they took of her clothes. and the coup de grace, a big stone crashed on her head and the blood steeped out...

i have seen horror moveis in my time, a lot, my husband is a big fan of those. some violence cannot stasnd and i refuse to see certain movies because to me, the violence is too extreme.
but its all fake!!!! fake blood, fake bones, fake gore. at the end of the day, that person gets up and leave. but this...this abomiantion... i couldnt stop watchign as disgusted as i was...and i cried.

i guess as long as violence is justified, i will accept it at some point.
but THIS!!!!!????
i mean yeah its justified to a certain, maybe she is guilty of something and she must be punished but not like this!!!! in civilised countires, u are guilty of something,we deal with u in court. if ur a pedophile and u go to jail and get gang-raped, then too bad for u! dont do the crime if u cant do the time! thats justified violence.
movies = big mean mafia guy, big villain = punishment = bang, gun...

in 2005 i saw a beheading video (irak hostage), i dont even know why i watched it. sick curiosity i guess. i saw saddam beign hung. and now this.
its ironic how i cant watch horro movies.

reality is much more horrible.

pray for her soul. no man or woman should be treated that way.

unfortunately, this video and many others (ex: woman being shot in afghanistan in stadium) only makes me hate. hate hate hate.
i dont wanna hate. im convinced of the fact that there are good peopel in the owrld, no matter what their religion. but this just makes ME violent.

oh sinner. forgive them for they not know what they did.
and how the Poet says "spare me and God will spare you. if u tkae my life, God will take yours"
i hope u get ur come-upins, u murderers.

forgive me Lord, for anger is a sin.


im still in shock and the video keeps running in my head....

um..bittersweet taste in my mouth after seeign this....

http://www.whoppervirgins.com/
bringing freedom with hamburgers...yeah..yuck.
i havent eaten at a fast food joint in YEARS! and im not gonna start right now...

i broke my fastign a couple of times. such sinner am i.
with cake, bad words.

veiled sunday and husband questions

sunday 1 with covered hair... not that bad actually...we were maximum 5 with a veil on..in a church fileld with about 20 people.. yeah.
and i cannot believe the priests wives wore lipstick and makeup. but at least they didnt go kiss the ikons. must not gossip. almost had a slip ip there...

so husband question no 1: dear sab, u say that during FAsting u eat less, no junk, are more pious and give money to the poor...WHY ARENT U DOING THAT ALL THE TIME THEN!!!!!???

that shut me up for a part of the day...and im still thinking...i mena some people give up smoking during FAst and they start over again after.. i guees its more the Effort that counts since its a time for piousness and prayness (does that exist?) . i mena its the time to make special efforts. giving alms to the poor shouldnt be twice a year so our good deeds will make the scales tip on judgment day.
but i do admi,that on the food side, its a great efort. i can do without meat and milk but CHOCOLATE??? or anythign sweet for that matter.
meanwhile im eating homemade halva andvegan banana cake.

husband questions mean this : my husband is not a believer. he was baptized catholic, was given a little catholic education in school but not more than that. when we got married, he switched over to the orthodox side justfor moi!! that still doesnt make him a believer and but he is technically >orthodox>. so he doenst believe liek i do. therefore he asks me questiosn that leave me confounded and speechless.. i mean it makes perfect sense to me, but havign to expalin to someone else puts things in perspective.

on nov. 30th (yesterday). it was our 3 months anniversary! weeee!!
it was also the Sf. Andrei (St. Andrew) the saint that brought christianity in Romania and therefore he patron saint of Romania. If we have a boy, i would like him to wear that name (As a second name, the 1st name is picked out alreay).
damian for a boy
rosemary for a girl.

yah. we went there. hhihi!

about fasting

fasting time is a very special time. for me anyway. its also very hard.

reading other blogs i wonder...

everyone is talking about soy and thigns that taste le chicken but arent...

im sorry but i dont think thats the point of the fast!!!

how did our ancestor survive durigng fastign which was way stricter than nowadays, in the country side... there wasnt any soy!! no fake-chicken!

i mean is fastign isnt accompanied by prayer and good actions what are you doing it?

"but its for the kids' : sorry but kids are free of fastign until they reach a certain age and that is, only if they do wanan fast.

we work liek this : my husband and his granmother do not fast (they are not orthodox). i do. i cook meat for them and separate veggie meal for me. simple. i dont impose. ranma feels bad for me and she doesnt liek to eat meat in front of me cuz shes says its tempting, she doesnt want me to give in to temptation. hardly m dear! i can do without meat. i like veggieS!

the hardest part is the praying and the good actions and thoughts... its so easy to judge, so easy to say a bad word against someone..the hardest part is eatign less, be content with less.
and as a special effort, i read my mornin (or evening) prayers in the bus on my way to work.

"sau de pacatul fratelui meu am ras, iar pacatele mele sunt nenumarate"
( i laughed at my borthers sins bu my sins are greater than his) (prayer for the holy ghost)


i eat soup, zacusca (vegie spread), bread, fruits, rice etc. ok its a litle orign but fastign isnt supposed to be fun! and sometimes a little vegan cake when a sugar rush kicks in.

i do check labels but i dont go crazy. if theres a little whey, then big deal! i wont go to hell for that! my actions and good will will outweigh any fasting i think. God doesnt need our fasting.

i have lerned form the church fathers "if u fast, do o where others dont fast. it will make then uneasy." at an office party, i will fish even if its not a fish day. out of politeness. i cant imagine imposing my beliefs on others and demandign a vegan meal!
again, religion is a personal thing to me. even if my husband isnt religious, he got "baptized" orthodox from catholic just to marry me and went through all the ceremonies. i didnt choose him for the religiousity but for other great qualities. he even fasted with me the 1st year we went out. i dont and wont impose him anything.

an so the raod to good actions and frugal eating continues. peace in our hearts.

here goes nothing...

welcome to my blog dear reader! i hope u will enjoy my thoughts and cogitations.

Sunday, im planning on oing to church with a nic little scarf ony mhead.

why should i cover? my mom thinks they are all "habodnice", extra-religious. thtas its more a "country side" tradition. that women in the city dont veil up.

aloow me to explain : we were born in romania, in bucharest. but we now live in Montreal. back home, women cover their hair (some of them) when goign to church, and some of the old generations covers up prety much all day. its a case of prson-to-person. nobody in my family does (my grandmother does though).

i just like the way they look honestly, with their little scarves and their bowed heads.

i feel so small, so insignificant in such a beautiful space that is the church, im peaceful. calm.

its the place i go to when i want to get away from my troubles.

i wasnt much of a religious person in my youth. i was never thoguht religion per-say. my first religion classes were catholic teachings. but with age, i gave up, i was way too busy beign unpopular in school. but whenever i neede help, i prayed. then i was a satanist for 2 weeks. but worshiping one dude instead of another is pretty pointless so i went back.

i went to church form tiem to time, but we were always present at the midnight mass on Easter.

i used to go at 9h30, when i just opened and just sit there, all alone and listen to the acatists and various hymns being sung in teh corner. but now i moved far from church and i barely go on sundays (the weekends my husband has off, i spend them with him, instead of Him) (God! not some other guy!)

as im becomin a woman, a wife and one day a mother, i realised its important to teach ur kid religious values and teach him about your history, people etc.

my husband is not romanian but i do want my child to learn his heritage. i want him baptized.

i know deep down hell never speak proper romanian, maybe he wont wanna but one must try.

so its important to know what i believe in and most importantly why. so i can pass it on properly and not, how i was thought, "just because its like that".

im not a fanatic, i didnt read the bible. i just want to understand what i can.

by practicins the different orthodox and romanian traditions.

to keep them alive. to be able to explain them.

snap.